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Does Santa Claus exist?

I am beginning to have serious doubts about Santa...I think
it began last year when Santa came down my chimney and beat
the hell out of me...Needless to say, after a good beating
I was dumbstruck to say the least, but anyway, things continue
to slip on the Santa front...Do you have any Santa issues,
like, for example, have you found him violent? Will he bring
you strap-ons and dildos, that is, do you find he makes value
judgements about what he brings? How do you resolve seeing
two or more Santas at the same time?

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