After 19 Years with One Man...
When I first left my husband of 15 yrs plus, I wept thinking
that my sex life could be over. I felt old and incredibly
unsexy. I went through a year of mourning a life that hadn't
worked out, time wasted and then was introduced to on line
dating by a girlfriend. At first I wasn't interested.
But the nights were long after my kids went to bed and the
computer seemed to call me. I met a man, Ron, who was from
Great Britain. We didn't talk about dating, just general
things. Very slowly we came to know each other. One Friday
night I had been drinking. My kids were away with their father.
Ron, very slowly, seduced me on line. It was mesmerizing.
I didn't have a clue that people did this sort of thing.
I watched him, disgusted and thrilled at the same time.
I was very fragile emotionally and he was a friend. I wanted
him as a lover.
I went to a party in the city. He worked there late at night.
I brazenly (I thought) left an email telling him I'd
be staying at a hotel; that he should come to me in the night
after the party and his work. I dressed, feeling sexy for
the first time in years. New hair, new makeup, new clothes.
Daring. And oddly wet. It was new this feeling of wanting.
I could hardly wait to get back to the hotel after the party.
I sat there, waiting. Freshened up. Listened to music.
Wondering if he'd come. Nervous that if he did he wouldn't
want me.
Would find me too fat, too old.... unattractive.
It grew late and I was tired. I slipped under the covers and
dozed. At 3 am the phone rang. He was in the lobby. Could he
come up. I threw on a silk robe over my black corset and stockings.
Answered the door, aware that my breasts were exposed,
my face flush from sleep and excitement. He smiled gently.
Came in and sat on the bed. I felt... right. Sensual. He began
to stroke my leg. I could feel myself growing wet. Aware
of every touch. He touched my face and kissed me softly,
hand covering my ass. It slid up my body, cupped my breast.
I moaned without realizing it was me. He pulled down the
cup of my bra, exposing my pink nipple. Pinched it lightly
and bent his head down to take it in his mouth. Oh god. I remembered
this. My head went back. His hand slid down to my leg, moved
one aside. Found my warmth. Touched me softly. Kissed me
hard. I was burning. He lay me back on the bed. Moved between
my legs, looking at me on the bed. Wanting. He later described
me as a woman wanting. I was. Fingers moving
into me now. Mouth on me. Lips, tongue. Divine. Hot. Oh god.
Suddenly I wanted him naked. I told him to take everything
off and did the same. Slowly removing stockings, bustier.
Wanting skin on skin on skin. Heat. His body was on mine.
Soft and delicious. I held his cock in my hand, a prize for
sure. Hard, stiff. I moved then, knowing what to do.
Made
him lie back this time. He was sitting up a little, watching
me take him in my mouth. I circled the head with my lips, then
reached for flavored oil by the bed. Let it drip onto him.
Stroked it in. Using both hands, there between his legs.
Pushed his legs far apart. Hands up his thighs. Now it was
his turn to moan. Hands, then mouth, deep in my throat. Licking
down lower, sucking him into my mouth. We moved. Like a dance
of strangers. His mouth on my bursting, needing, pulsing,
oh my god, that is so good pussy. My mouth on his cock. Desperate.
Erotic. I licked his balls, his ass. Tried to stay centered
and give to him but it felt so good that I lost my concentration.
Found myself lying there. Losing myself. Going off. Finding
myself. It was.... like madness. I came it seemed forever,
tears running silently down my face. Release. And then
after a moment wanted to return the feeling badly. But wanting
him in me. Deep in me. To feel my pussy, still pulsing. I pushed
him back again on the pillows, straddled him ready to take
him deep and move, grind on him. NO. He was a married man.
This was his line. Oral sex was all that he would do. I was...
deflated. It wasn't enough. I wanted all of it. All
of him. But reluctantly I stopped, sensing his wife there,
at the end of the bed. Licking down his chest, taking nibbles,
bites of his nipples. Tongue in his navel, teasing, spreading
his thighs.
Moving my head so that my hair dragged on his
cock. Then looking straight into his eyes, watching him
watching me. I took him again in my mouth. Made him cry out.
He came furiously. And then we fell apart. Separate again.
We parted sweetly. He was a nice man, handsome, kind. We're
still friends today, a year later but have never met up again.
I won't. I wanted it all. I took what I could. He gave
more to me than sex. He made me feel desired, beautiful.
It was enough.