Medical jokes
DOCTOR NOTES
These are actual notes from Doctors patient charts...
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared
completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing
me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally
alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.